Caffeine

This is one of my favorite scenes from Friends.


Did you know it’s the most widely used mood altering drug? I’m conducting an experiment this week to make it until Friday without Coffee or Pop, thus greatly reducing my caffeine intake. My first day was yesterday, and I didn’t really notice much until it was time for bed. I went to bed around 10-10:30, and ended up just laying there until 1 AM, which is unusual. Once I’m in bed I can usually fall right asleep. This morning I woke up with a pounding head ache, my jaw hurt, and for some reason my knees hurt. After my shower the headache went away, and I didn’t think much of it until 2nd hour. While I was daydreaming and having trouble caring about “completing the square”, my headache came back with vengeance. Fortunately Chelsea had some pain killers, the name seemed foreign to me and that’s usually a good sign it’ll be powerful, so I went to the bathroom and excitedly took one. It was AWESOME, my headache went right away and I felt fine for a long time. I’m starting now to get a slight headache but it isn’t nearly as powerful and according to wikipedia the symptoms peak at 48 hours, which I’m nearly at.

Here’s what Wikipedia said about caffeine withdrawal:

“Withdrawal symptoms—possibly including headache, irritability, an inability to concentrate, drowsiness, insomnia and pain in the stomach, upper body, and joints —may appear within 12 to 24 hours after discontinuation of caffeine intake, peak at roughly 48 hours, and usually last from one to five days, representing the time required for the number of adenosine receptors in the brain to revert to "normal" levels, uninfluenced by caffeine consumption.”

I have no idea what adenosine receptors are but they sound pretty cool. So wish me luck, I think the worst part is behind me, I just need to make it until Friday.

Talking With a Cactus

Hello my adoring fans. I'll make this short.

I was reading Michael Crichton's autobiography, "travels", today, and it's about him completing the things he wants to do before he dies. He does some crazy stuff, like climbing mount Kilimanjaro, swimming with sharks, dating a sex symbol. The chapter I was reading was when he was at a New Age retreat in the Mojave desert and talked to a cactus, and I couldn't help but think how much I want to have a conversation with a cactus. So I decided to compile my list of things to do before I die. However, I then thought it would be more interesting if instead of writing my own list, you all make the list for me. So I challenge you to give me a few ideas of things for me to do before I die in my comment box, and they have to be things you think I would never do.

All those in the blogosphere with me: Rachel, Amy, and Alexis if you ever get that blog functioning, I think you should play as well.

Habin: the object of my desires.

But first, it's time for a gay moment.


I don’t have much for today. Just have to get a little something off my chest.

I’m going to going to get down and personal with ya’ll with a little something that has been plaguing my mind. I know I may have bored all of you with this topic before, but I must document it here on the blogosphere so it’ll go down in history. Mnd you this topic has infected my noggin and transformed all consciousness and reason. It has consumed me to the point where not a moment goes by without feeling the effects of it bearing down on my soul.

Dissecting Asian Females.

It all started last year when Rachel and I noticed how unnaturally cute the female Asian population is at our school. I do not want to take credit for the idea, and I doubt Rachel does either. But fact is fact and I’m not one to rewrite history. We formulated a plan, flawless in nature, perfectly crafted to suit our needs.

Step one: Pick our target female. (I chose the gorgeous Korean girl wearing the cowboy boots)
Step two: grab her off the streets.
Step three: gut her.
Step four: wear hear to school the next day.

You think me crazy? You think Rachel crazy? That’s fair I suppose. But think about this: would a crazy person be able to so calmly tell you the facts as they are?

We soon forgot about it. We went about our summer as though tiny little homicidal seeds had not been planted in our brains. All was well until Habin came along. She sits across from me in pre-calc. She wears purple boots. Her skin is flawless.

Mrs. Golden rambles on about formulas…
All I want to do is grab her.

X values…
Grab a plunger.

Range and domain…
Gut her.

And don’t forget the homework…
wear her.

One day we got into groups for a project. The assignment was to measure our partners height and wing span.

I had Habin.

I felt homicidal is I slowly unraveled the measuring tape and placed it against her warm flesh. As I started from her purple boots and worked my way up the back of her body I could not resist imagining where the best place to put the zipper would be. On her back? No…too obvious. On her front? Not very subtle. Perhaps on her sides, and then I can put her arms on like gloves? Perfect. My mind was deep in a foggy silence-of-the-lambs miasma as I sketched her measurements on my paper and a nearly undetectable but very real rapist smirk began to show on my face.

I’m seeking counseling in the morning.

I want this sweatshirt. Mostly because the modal in it is extremely attractive.



and partially because it saves lives. Check it out:
http://feedjustone.bigcartel.com/product/hooded-long-sleeve-shirt-clean-water

Bye.

KT Tunstall and an Overhead Projector

This chick is unbelievable! She plays every instrument you hear and is even her own back up singer, the fact that she coordinates all this with her feet while playing guitar and singing is mind boggling to me.

So today was pretty boring. I made myself two thermoses of coffee (just incase, you never know when you need that extra energy boost), and went to school earlier than normal. I was standing around with Theresa and I told her about how I wasn’t sure if I was going on the trip or not. Eventually we went to the first floor; I just kind of put myself in a crowd of Drumline kids and tried to blend in. Mr. Yoder saw me however, but he didn’t yell at me or say I shouldn’t be down there, he simply asked me what we were going to do about loading the truck.

Loading the truck was a clusterfuck.

They rented this small moving van, and it was big enough to lift the Vibraphones, but there was no way in hell it would lift the marimbas. So, while everyone sat around looking dumb founded, Hannah and I found a bunch of small extra xylophones and loaded them on the truck in place of the marimbas. It was extremely aggravating because Hannah and I literally loaded all the pit equipment, plus the battery shit and all the low brass just dumped their instruments next to us and expected us to load it.

The performance at wood creak sucked. I forgot a lot of the music and the instrument was too tiny to do any runs on. Not to mention the fact it was completely out of tune, every cord I hit sounded like a gorilla getting run over by a dumpster.

English was boring. We discussed Hamlet which I did NOT read.

I had three interesting experiences today involving bathrooms.

1) I got permission from Mrs. Robinson to take a dump, as soon as I got out of the classroom I noticed Ms. Milenkovich standing in the middle of the hall with a projector just staring at her door. She’s known to be crazy, but not that crazy. So I said “hello”, and she just looked at me then said very suspiciously, “come here for a second”. I walked over to her. “You see that boy in the front row?” “yes”. But that’s all I ever got. Someone opened her door and she walked in without her overhead projector. Next thing I knew, I was standing alone in a hall with an overhead projector staring at a door. A girl walked by and looked at me like I was crazy, so I got the hint and continued to the bathroom.

2) While in the bathroom, I went right for the stall with a door. Some dumb fuck had tried to flush his planner down the toilet, so I had to use the doorless stall.

3) Finally, on my way back to the room, I passed the front office where the hall monitors guard the school from criminals and miscreants. There was some dude with pants down to his knees holding a bouquet of flowers screaming at the hall moniter. “I have to tell her how I feel!” “sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premises.” “She has to know!” “Sir, you have been warned. I will now escort you out of the building.” I kept my head low and walked by quickly.

When I got home I read 2 acts of hamlet and took a nap.

That was my day.

Bye.

The Ting Tings

You know what a Ting Ting is? That's right, a very tiny penis.

So I discovered a really cool feature on Blogger that lets you pick different applications and put them on the side of your blog. I only picked a few to start out with but I'm looking at others, there are thousands. I chose (as you can see) one application that displays some top news feeds and another (that I think rachel and I will find much more useful) that displays weird and disturbing news.

So what's new with me? Not much. Tomorrow the band is going on some stupid field trip to the middle schools and I have no idea if I'm allowed to go or not, I hope to god I can. So I'll be going down to the band room early on the off chance they let me hitch a ride.

My reading list:
Travels by Michael Crichton
Broca's Brain by Carl Sagan
The Lost World by Michael Crichon.

Meanwhile I have to read HAMLET? possibly the most boring piece of literature of all time. Don't you dare leave a comment saying, "but OMG I love Hamlet", because we all know you're kidding yourself.

I love MUSE. I'm listening to Take a Bow, my current favorite.

Today during lunch I went to the library. As usual, Ashley Attar and Alexis sat down next to me, then Hannah joined, and finally Tessa and Sam sat down. So there was no avoiding the fact we would all soon be screaming about poop and sharing our most disgusting shit stories. The librarian came over and told us to "please keep it down", the rest of the library was staring at us. It would be embarrassing but it was incredibly funny. There's nothing like a good toilet explosion story to make your day. On the schedule for tomorrow are Puke stories.

Bye.

I'm back,

yay.

To start things off, I have a vid for you all.



You know how every Garnier Fructis commercial is exactly the same? It’s always a bunch of neo-hippies prancing in fields. The lead girl always has extremely long perfectly straight hair, usually blonde but occasionally brunette. At one point the girl is taking a shower as her hot boyfriend washes her hair, at another point she'll be running through fields with her fellow modal friends, and at least once if not twice she will tie her hair in a knot or tie it to something just to prove (as though we doubted her) that her hair is exceptionally strong since her boytoy washed it with Garnier Fructis. I was just thinking how great life would be if we lived in these commercials. It would be a blissful and never ending cycle of showering, field prancing, and knot tying!
So I was admiring these commercials just a few minutes ago. I couldn't remember what the name of the shampoo was so I described the common characteristics of the ads to Shelby, She immediately knew it was Garnier Fructis, and so I looked up the commercials on Youtube. Unfortunately my mother walked in just as the computer decided to scream "SICK AND TIRED OF LIFELESS AND FRIZZY HAIR!?!?!?!!?" displaying two girls sitting in a red convertible with massive 80's hair. My mom’s only reply was, "I don't even want to know." It was embarrassing.
I have no idea what I want to say in this first post. I feel since it’s my first in this era of blog keeping, I should write something meaningful or something impressive so I can always look back on now and admire my brilliance. But I don't have the time and Amy never writes anything meaningful so why even attempt? This is all for now.